


On soulmates and misunderstandings

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: ...I kinda wan to whack him, Also lot of feels, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And Kili and fili being cute and close to Bilbo, Angst, Basically Thorin being a jerk, Fluff, Hobbit Courting, M/M, Misunderstandings, Near Death Experiences, Romance, Thorin doesn't understand a hint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 17:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili rushed to Bilbo's side, shocked to see he'd gotten even paler, if possible. Enough was enough, and with a hand against Bilbo's back for support, Fili lifted his head and shouted for his uncle, "Thorin!"</p><p>"No." Bilbo panted out, his fingers digging on both brother's arms as Fili shouted for their uncle. "No, please, no." Kili bit his own lip and turned towards the head of the group and stood up. "Thorin! Stop!"</p><p>The second time, Thorin caught the sound and pulled the company to a halt. He turned, nearly losing his breath to see Bilbo on the brink of collapsing as his nephews clung to the hobbit like they were the only ones keeping him upright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On soulmates and misunderstandings

He had first felt it when he had opened the door to find the leader, Thorin Oakenshield on the other side of his round door. Bilbo had felt his heart literally skip a beat, his cheeks coloring a light shade of pink and wondered briefly if he was getting sick even if it wasn't very hobbit-like to get sick.

But then it started to happen each time he saw or was spoken to by Thorin, he felt the weird tug in his heart, and always found himself throwing occasional glances at the dwarf king. The more he thought about him, the wilder his heart raced until one night he heard it.

He was held in the air by the trolls, ready to literally tear him apart when his eyes had met Thorin's down below, and the next heart beat he heard and felt was not his own. It filled him with warmth and hidden worry, feeling like there was a second heart beating under his skin.  
That was the moment Bilbo realized it, but he had to be absolutely positive he was right or he would make a fool out of himself.

After finding a spring where he had cleaned himself from the troll snout, Bilbo walked back to the camp filled with dwarves and their usual chatter and walked straight to Thorin even if he felt like bolting away any second the closer he got. He cleared his throat, rocking on his heels lightly. "I...wanted to thank you for helping me back there." Bilbo said softly, looking up at the king holding his breath anticipating, waiting.

Thorin scowled, shucking off his furs so that he could shake them clean of dirt. "You're a fool," he said sharply, "thinking you could outwit a troll. You risked the lives of my entire company for what? Ponies?"  
Realizing his aggravation and the stress of a recently passed battle had started to get to him, Thorin shook his head, divesting himself of his weapons and setting them upon the ground next to his bed roll. "Leave it to a hobbit to listen to two children."

Bilbo flinched at the words, noticing that they really hurt. And not just in a words-hurt-your-feelings kind of way no, it hurt somewhere deep inside him, making him ache and feel hollow, yet he couldn't quite stop the grin from spreading on his lips. "Right, excuse me." He said hurriedly, turning and walking back to the campfire sitting beside it.

Thorin was his soulmate, there was no other explanations, it all fit. The feel of a second heart, the hurt Thorin's harsh words caused him, the flutter of his own heart whenever he thought about the king. Even if he was scared like rabbit at the thought of belonging to the king of all possible mates, he was happy he had found the other half of his life. So far he had been sure he was destined to live alone, and finding ones mate was a joyful thing. Now all he had to do was to find the right flower, he hoped to find it alongside the journey.

Thorin had watched Bilbo go, eyes never once leaving the hobbit's retreating form until it looked like Bilbo had settled himself before the fire. He scowled, a fleeting guilt hitting him hard right in the gut before he shook the sensation off. If Bilbo couldn't handle a simple reprimand for his foolish actions, it was likely this journey would be far more harrowing than Thorin had originally anticipated. 

Sitting upon his bedroll, Thorin tried not to let himself think of the circumstances in which Bilbo could possibly risk his life again. They had taken the hobbit along as per Gandalf's insistence, and no matter how much Thorin had told the wizard that Bilbo's life could not be guaranteed...he couldn't help but fear the possibility of it actually happening.  
Which was exactly why Thorin wouldn't apologize for something like reprimanding the hobbit for endangering himself and the entire company. No, that wouldn't do.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning Bilbo walked around the forest close to their camp, desperately trying to find the flower he needed. The beautiful purple flower with yellow beads inside, the flower of soulmates. At least for hobbits, that was. The most beautiful courting flower you could give to your one. He was feeling giddy and nervous as he roamed through the bushes, coming out empty handed again and sighed. Maybe he had better luck when they moved on.

Cleaning up his clothes the best he could, Bilbo walked back to the camp noticing most of the dwarves already up and packing so he moved over to his bed roll pacing everything up as well.

Ever since Thorin's scolding, Bilbo had been acting off all night and well into the morning. However, Thorin couldn't afford to focus on the problems of one company member; no matter how badly Bilbo's behavior was unsettling him. The best he could do was instruct his nephews to keep a close eye on the hobbit until they set out again. 

Once on the road, Thorin pulled his pony up beside Bilbo's, scowling. "Is something troubling you?" he asked gruffly, hoping he didn't sound too concerned.  
Bilbo looked up surprised, not anticipating Thorin to pull back to talk to him and he could feel it again, the twin set of hearts beating steadily in the same rhythm, making him warm and he shook his head smiling. "No, I'm feeling fairly well thank you for asking."

Feeling dismissed, Thorin tightened his grasp on the reigns before exhaling roughly and digging his heels into the pony's flank. With one last parting look to Bilbo, Thorin returned to the front of the company.  
Fili took his place, trotting up next to the hobbit and leaning in conspiratorially, "You can tell us anything, you know," he said, head bobbing to his brother so Bilbo knew Kili was included in Fili's comment.

Bilbo tilted his head as he watched Thorin go, his eyes then finding the young dwarf beside him, his brother on the other side smiling widely. "We promise not to tell anyone." Kili mocked playfully before chuckling softly, making Bilbo smile as well.

"There is one thing I'd want help with. If you find a purple flower with yellow beads, bring it to me." He asked glancing at both at them with flush in his cheeks. "I'm...It misses from my collection so I thought I might find one around." He lied smoothly.

Fili's expression took on one of concentration, leaning up against the bridle and humming thoughtfully. "Beads, you say? I've never heard of a flower with beads, have you, Kili?" Fili turned, his braids swaying as he glanced over to his brother.

Kili shook his head, fingers brushing through his messy hair."Can't say I have." He agreed and Bilbo chuckled. "They're like tiny pearls inside the flower, its impossible to miss."  
Fili laughed, "Don't see what good a pearl would do for a flower, they haven't got anyone to impress!" Still, he sobered quickly enough, "Don't you worry, Burglar, we'll find your flowers as best we can, right Kili?"

"You'll recognize it when you see it. The whole flower radiates something different, the beauty something that is hard to find." Bilbo smiled and Kili glanced at him and the back at Fili, nodding his head. "We'll find it in no time!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It turned out that 'in no time' was a bit relative. They had to follow the company and so it wasn't until their uncle had called a cease for the night that Fili could drag his brother off to help Bilbo in search of the elusive flower he so fondly spoke of. 

"Do you think it's an eatable?" Fili mused, wondering why on earth the hobbit would suddenly need such a trifle thing so soon.  
Kili shook his head, nudging his brother laughing. "I haven't seen Bilbo eating flowers before, I doubt he'd eat this particular flower either. It seemed to be important to him." He mused glancing back towards the camp where Bilbo was helping to set the fire up.

Laughing, Fili headed deeper into the forest, "You forget how important eating is to a little hobbit, dear brother," he teased.  
"I still don't think he'll eat flowers." Kili made a face at the mere idea, jumping after his brother. "Hey...Fili? What do you think of soulmates?" He asked suddenly, worrying his lower lip at the question. He had been thinking about it a lot lately, ever since he came to the age. "You've never really talked about them."

Turning to give Kili an odd look, Fili released a noise of understanding, "You think the flower is for his soulmate?" he asked, grinning wide and clapping Kili on the shoulder, "Clever of you. Do you think it's Bofur?"

Kili snorted shaking his head quickly. "As much as I've seen them together, Bilbo never looks at him that way." He raked through his brains. "Maybe it's not from this group and he just wishes to find the flower?"

Fili hummed, crouching down when he caught sight of a few flowers hiding in a bush and rooting around. "It could be--they say your soulmate's heart beats louder in you the closer you get to them," he pulled out of the bush, hair wild and full of branches as he scowled in dismay. No flower just yet.

"Beats...louder?" Kili asked stopping where he stood, realization hitting him hard. Oh Aulë. It couldn't be. But there it was, something that he was so used on feeling that without Fili's words he probably wouldn't have realized it.

Fili's breath hitched, feeling it in his own chest when Kili's heart skipped a beat. He remained passive, picking twigs from his hair and standing. "It's how you find them--how you know they're alive and well, of course," Fili proclaimed, placing a hand over his chest and smiling at Kili like he didn't know what was going on in his brother's head.

"O-Oh..." Kili swallowed, trying to pretend that he was searching for the flower, mind reeling miles a minute. "It...can soulmates ever go wrong?" He asked carefully.

The words struck Fili hard, chest aching at the implications. He tried not to let it get to him, hoping dearly that Kili might come around one day--that only the first realization made him assume that what they had was wrong. He kept a thin smile on his face, turning away and heading deeper into the forest to avoid looking at his brother as he said, "I think everyone is meant for someone, no matter how wrong it seems."

Kili felt it, the flash of hurt deep inside him that made him gasp out, fists clenching in the grass as he took in deep breaths of air. "Even if it may be frowned upon by others?" He asked unsure.  
"As long as your soulmate loves you, others shouldn't matter," Fili said, hesitating before he turned slowly, catching his brother's gaze, "And a true soulmate would love you no matter what."

Kili stared up at his brother, rising slowly from the ground feeling slightly nervous. "And this...soulmate...if you know who it is. What are you supposed to do?"  
Swallowing heavily, Fili gave his brother a tight smile, "I couldn't tell you that," he said weakly, "As I've been too much of a coward to approach mine."  
Kili smiled a little, feeling nervous, feeling the tension and half of it wasn't his own. Half of it was his brother's, his mate's. "I know how you're feeling."

Instead of laughing, Fili ducked his head down, exhaling the words, "I know," in a way that spoke volumes more than he would admit. Kili knew, now, but with his questions and vague comments, Fili had no idea what to do. Should they act as if nothing had changed? His mother never told him what to do on this day, never explained how hard it was to face down the keeper of his heart--his own brother--and to lay everything bare.

Kili snapped his head up at the knowing tone Fili used, his heart hammering in his chest and the thought that Fili could feel it just made him more nervous. It was a never ending circle. He pushed himself away from the tree, walking over to his brother stopping before him, breathing in deeply.  
Fili breathed out shakily, straightening his back as a means of seeming more in control than he felt. His stomach and heart were a storm of anxiety, hope, love and anticipation as he uttered, "I've know. Since the second you were born." He repeated.

"Fili..." Kili smiled hopefully, afraid that for once in his life he would do something stupid and embarrassing like pass out but instead he wrapped his arms around Fili's neck, holding him close.  
The second Kili's arms were around him, Fili crushed his brother to his chest. He held on tight, burying his face into the juncture where Kili's neck and shoulder met. He inhaled deeply, though Kili's scent was just as familiar as ever, and relished in the relief that came with knowing that the bond had been acknowledged and accepted.

Kili gasped silently, his whole body and soul overcome with the waves of warmth, relief, happiness that he knew poured from his brother as he held on tight hoping Fili felt what he did. He had his mate, he had found and been accepted by the one in his life and he felt like crying tears of joy.  
Oh, how Fili wanted to kiss him--wanted to press their lips together and show Kili just how greatly he was loved. It seemed too much though, so Fili was happy to settle for clutching to his brother, one hand burying itself into Kili's dark locks and the other resting strong around Kili's back.

Kili nuzzled his face against Fili's neck, breathing in deeply a happy smile playing on his lips and once he opened his eyes glancing over Fili's shoulder he noticed it, yanking Fili's arm. "Fili, Fili! Isn't that the flower Bilbo is searching for?" He asked pointing at the sea of grass and bushes behind his brother, and there among them was a beautiful light purple flower with yellow beads inside.

Fili pulled away reluctantly, but grinned when he saw the aforementioned flower, "Looks like it," he said, giving Kili a gentle push at his lower back, "You found it, you can give it to him, yeah?"  
"Me?" Kili asked walking among the flowers carefully, plucking the purple flower from the ground with care and held it against his chest with a warm smile, eyes taking in the beauty of it. "You know, master Baggins was right. It truly is beautiful."

Fili hummed in the back of his throat, coming up behind his brother and smiling a bit softer. "If only there were two, so that I could give you one of your own," he said lightly, though the sentiment was entirely true. "Shall we head back, then?"  
Kili flushed lightly at the words of his brother and he smiled at him. "Who knows, maybe you'll find one later." He suggested turning around in Fili's arms, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek before grinning and dancing away from him. "Come on then, let's get back!"

Fili hurried after his brother, reaching out and grabbing him by the elbow. He had no words, following only his uncontrollable need as he dragged Kili in close. Fili brought a hand up, cupping the softly stubbled curve of Kili's cheek before pulling him into a proper kiss--one that was curt but soft and made Kili gasp in surprise. 

Satisfied, Fili stepped back. "I'm sure Bilbo will be pleased with your findings," he said, and walked past Kili to head back for the camp with his heart soaring high.  
Kili was left behind for a moment, his whole appearance thrumming with pure happiness and he touched his lips gently before hurrying after his brother. He was sure the others could see the change in them, it tended to show to others as well and once they reached the camp he excused himself for a moment and went to give a surprised but very pleased halfling his flower.

Kili smiled softly at Bilbo, who noticed the happiness radiating from both him and his brother and smiled happily at them, tugging the flower in a small hiding place for the right moment. Kili smiled at him with a nod, walking back to his brother hesitating only a moment before draping on his side.

Thorin could see the change in his nephews; the way Fili walked with his head higher, and Kili with a spring in his step. For a fleeting moment, Thorin wondered if they had discovered something between themselves...and then he witnessed his nephew passing over something to their hobbit companion. Thorin turned his head, unwilling to see gifts exchanged between the two for it made him feel as if he was snooping.

It was easy to see what had happened between Fili and Kili. It wasn't uncommon for dwarves to marry their siblings; though it was highly unheard of for them to be soulmates. Either way, Thorin made sure to pull Kili aside when he saw his nephew practically draped along Fili's back only moments before. "Kili," he said sternly, "try to be ... reserved.. in your affections with Fili. You must remember that many will not understand your love."

Kili looked at their uncle surprised, his cheeks turning slightly red. "I know...but I've also known these dwarves all my life. I'll be fine as soon we're careful around the dwarves out of this company."

Bilbo glanced over at them all with a small smile, and noticing his chance he took the flower out of it's hiding place. He hesitated a moment, pressing a kiss on one of the beautiful pedals before walking silently over to Thorin's bed laying it on the pillow carefully, scruffing back in his own bed hugging his knees in his chest anticipating, his heart fluttering nervously.

A quick look around told him that none of the dwarves had noticed him sneaking out of his bedroll and he grinned a little to himself, willing his heart to calm down.

Thorin gave Kili a pointed look, "Just be sure to never show anything more than sibling love for your brother when in the company of men," he said softly, "And you should be fine." With that, Thorin left Kili to head for his bedroll that he'd previously set up. There was a flower on it--a pretty thing, yes, but still a useless flower nonetheless. Thorin brushed it off his pillow, not wanting to find the thing in his hair in the morning, and then set about polishing off his weapons.

On the other side of the camp however, Bilbo had been waiting nervously, his stomach unsettling and his eyes flying over the camp every now and then,watching Thorin as he came towards his place...and brushed the flower away like it meant nothing.

Something inside Bilbo shattered, a cold dread washing through his whole body making him gasp in nearly physical pain, clutching his chest with his fist. Thorin had...he had...he was rejected. Bilbo blinked away the tears, this was not the time or place to break down and instead he picked up the flower that had flown close to his own bed roll, cradling it against his chest with gentle touches.

He felt empty, hollow. His chest tightened with pain and eyes burn with the tears he fought back from spilling over. What had he been expected, really? He was nothing worthy of a king and his attention.

Bilbo laid the flower beside him on the bed, staring at it for a moment before closing his eyes in attempt to get some night sleep, the pain inside him growing stronger with each passing minute.

Fili, though focused on gently brushing Kili's hair from his face, saw the movements and stiffened when Bilbo let out a small noise of pain. He nudged Kili, gesturing to the small hobbit. Thorin, on the other hand, remained oblivious as he continued to fiddle around with his sword; sharpening it devotedly.  
Kili turned at the nudge of his brother, eyes landing on the hobbit who looked once and for all...heartbroken. There was no other word to it. He was holding on the flower like a lifeline and something in Kili twisted. "Did he get...tell me he didn't get.." He murmured shocked.

"Oh dear," Fili murmured, pressing a hand to Kili's knee and giving it a quick squeeze before he stood and crossed over to where Bilbo was lying down. He sat, stretching and proclaiming loud, "No wonder you sleep here, it's much warmer on this side of the fire!" and gesturing for Kili to bring over their bed rolls. If nothing, the Durin siblings could provide comfort the hobbit obviously needed.

Bilbo opened his eyes, looking up to the young dwarf surprised as Kili nodded and brought their bed rolls over, settling them on both sides of the hobbit. "I agree, it's surprisingly warm here." He nodded glancing at Fili with a worried expression.

"You two seem happy." Bilbo remarked and Kili grinned over him at Fili. "You could say...we had a new realization today." He said softly curling back around Bilbo. "But you...Are you alright?" Bilbo lowered his gaze, flicking them over to Fili and Kili. "I'm fine."

Fili reached over Bilbo's body, clasping his brother's arm so that the hobbit was practically snuggled between them. "You don't sound fine," he said softly, wanting nothing more than to find a way to take his friend's pain away.

"It's nothing." Bilbo said softly, curled between both brother's when Kili took his brother's hand in his own gently. "I'll be fine."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nearly a week had passed since Fili and Kili had started to sleep in close with Bilbo. Each night it happened, Thorin grew more and more agitated, and lashed out more and more at his nephews and the hobbit. It bothered him to see everyone connecting with Bilbo when all Thorin seemed to do was upset him without even trying. 

Then again, Thorin wasn't particularly well versed in how to get on someone's good side. Dwarves were stubborn, with strong hearts that made it easy to roughouse and snap at them. Bilbo, on the other hand, was soft and fragile in all the ways that Thorin and the others were not.

It had been a rough week for Bilbo who had tried his best to keep himself hidden form Thorin's view in fear of getting shouted at again, but each time he seemed to fail and he kept getting harsh words against his face, feeling weak after each and every single one of them. 

Finally on the seventh day he couldn't hide it anymore and he threw up in the closest bushes, tears mixing in his face that he tried to wipe away. He was pale, he had lost weight after not being able to eat properly and he felt so sick in his guts, like someone was thrusting polished knives in him, twisting in agony.

It was Fili who noticed it first. With Thorin at the front of their company, he couldn't pick up the sounds of retching. Fili jogged up beside Bilbo, pressing a palm to his back and letting out a noise of surprise, "Aule, Bilbo! You're burning up!"  
"I'm fine." Bilbo waved his hand as if to shake Fili off of him, standing up properly, legs shaking slightly. "No need to tell Thorin, I'll be fine, must have been something I ate."

Fili scowled, gesturing for his brother and stating firmly, "You can't walk like this," before pushing Bilbo towards Kili and then turning around. "Up on my back; I'll carry you. If you're really sick we can't have you dying because you didn't know when to rest."  
Kili walked over to them concerned, taking in Bilbo's appearance before pushing him gently on his brother's back without asking, where Bilbo hung up with a weak hold. "I'm fine really, this is nothing-" He protested weakly.

"Kili, go get Thorin," Fili commanded, holding tight to Bilbo's legs and trying not to panic at how light the hobbit had gotten. Bilbo was supposed to be plump and alive; not thin and barely strong enough to stand up. This wasn't good at all...and Fili had a hunch that the flower and their uncle was involved somehow. Would certainly explain their uncle's sour mood lately.

"No, please don't!" Bilbo panicked, nearly falling from Fili's back as he squirmed to show hat he was alright. "I'm fine, really, no need to involve Thorin into this!"  
Kili hesitated, Bilbo's eyes were wide and panic-liked, like a frightened rabbit.

Fili shifted, holding tight to Bilbo as best he could. "You're sick!" he snapped, "We can't keep going if you need rest!" Not that Fili would tell Bilbo that he was going to try to talk to his uncle. They needed to get this straightened out--and Fili knew that if Kili had rejected their bond, he would have been no better than the small hobbit he was carrying. It was the least he could do, because without Bilbo, Fili surely would have kept waiting and hoping for Kili to acknowledge Fili as his soulmate.

"I don't need rest, I can continue on." Bilbo assured them both, trying to wriggle from Fili's back on the ground. "You worry too much, this is nothing-" Kili shook his head. "Master Baggins, you're anything but fine."

Fili let Bilbo down, but only to turn and grasp his shoulders. "If you're fine, show me you can walk," he said vehemently, because Bilbo was so pale and shaking that Fili doubted he could make it more than a few feet at most. "Show me you can walk and that you can keep your food down."

Bilbo stared up at Fili for a moment before he nodded and turned around taking a deep breath. He had to do this. Kili shared a concerned look with his brother as he watched the hobbit take a step, then a second one, and nearly fell over on the third if he wasn't there catching him in time. "Master Baggins, please! Let us help you!"

Fili rushed to Bilbo's side, shocked to see he'd gotten even paler, if possible. Enough was enough, and with a hand against Bilbo's back for support, Fili lifted his head and shouted for his uncle, "Thorin!"

"No." Bilbo panted out, his fingers digging on both brother's arms as Fili shouted for their uncle. "No, _please_ , no." Kili bit his own lip and turned towards the head of the group and stood up. "Thorin! Stop!"

The second time, Thorin caught the sound and pulled the company to a halt. He turned, nearly losing his breath to see Bilbo on the brink of collapsing as his nephews clung to the hobbit like they were the only ones keeping him upright.

"Just hang on," Fili said to Bilbo as Thorin approached, "You'll be better soon."

Thorin came to a halt just before them, hesitantly reaching out and then taking Bilbo's chin to coax him into looking up. "What's wrong with him?" he barked, looking to his nephews like they held the answer.

Bilbo's frightened eyes met Thorin's, his heart nearly stopping beating at the sight and not in a good way. "It's nothing, your nephews worry too much.." He trailed off turning his eyes away from Thorin while Kili shook his head quickly. "Nonsense, he can't even walk three steps without falling over!"

Thorin scowled, his frown deepening as Fili said, "I don't think he's kept anything down since yesterday, maybe even earlier!"

With a snarl, Thorin brushed some of Bilbo's sweating bangs from his forehead, "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked the hobbit, "Did you think this sort of sickness would go away? You've held us all up because you couldn't let anyone know you were ill."

Bilbo's eyes were wide, the new slash of words making him curl up like he was being cut in real life, gasping for air. "I didn't...I didn't mean...I'm sorry." He cried out silently, Kili's own eyes widening and he looked at Fili helplessly.

Thorin seemed shocked to watch such a drastic reaction from the hobbit. He cursed, pulling Bilbo out of Fili and Kili's grasp and lifting him up like a small child. "Foolish hobbit," he growled, turning to the company, "Make camp here!" and hoping desperately that whatever was ailing Bilbo would soon pass. It wouldn't do to keep traveling though. The best they could hope for was that he didn't require medical care beyond what they had at hand.

"I didn't-" Bilbo panted at the new hurt of words, squeezing his eyes shut feeling cold and continued trembling.

"I think we need Gandalf in this." Kili said looking at them all. "Maybe he knows what is wrong with him?" Fili nodded, frowning deeply, "We haven't seen him in weeks, though," he said, "How will we find him?"  
"I don't know." Kili said weakly, sinking to sit on the ground. "We can always just...try calling? Like.." He looked around. "This is so stupid...Gandalf, something is wrong with Bilbo, we're afraid he won't last long."

Normally Fili would laugh at Kili for talking that way, but Gandalf had a habbit to appear when they least expected it. He just hoped this would work.

Thorin ignored the two, carrying Bilbo to where Bofur had immediately started to set up a bed roll. "If you get yourself killed because of an illness..." Thorin trailed off, because he honestly didn't want to think of Bilbo actually dying. It made something deep inside of him ache, and his already thundering heart began to clench painfully.

Bilbo just whimpered, past the words as he was set down in the bed roll, immediately curling up into himself. Thorin fumbled with the flask of water he kept on him, putting a hand behind Bilbo's head. "Drink." he commanded, and lifted the flask to Bilbo's lips to try and get him to at least open up for some water. All this sweating and shaking wasn't helping Thorin's nerves.

Bilbo made a weak noise, spluttering when the water fell down his throat that he nearly immediately coughed back up.

"Damned hobbit," Thorin cursed, sitting down and dragging Bilbo halfway into his lap. He wrapped a hand across Bilbo's cheek, tilting his head back. "Drink, _please_ ," he nearly begged, suddenly realizing how bad this could become.

Bilbo shook his head weakly, content to lay in Thorin's lap, his eyes closing as he breathed in shuddering. If this was the last thing he'd feel, he'd go a happy hobbit.

"Bilbo," Thorin urged, shaking him once and cursing when he got no response, "For Aule's sake, open your eyes!"

Surprisingly (or not) it didn't take long for Gandalf to appear into the clearing like a gods send, looking over the scene with careful eyes before they landed on Bilbo, a frown taking over his expression. "What has happened here?" He asked his voice steady, yet holding the tone that wanted explanations why the hobbit was on the verge of dying.

Thorin ignored the wizard's presence, more focused on trying to get Bilbo to at least show some sign of consciousness. Fili spoke for him instead, "He's weak; can't walk or keep his food down...." Trailing off, Fili wondered... if perhaps telling Gandalf of the flower and rejection might help--but could he break Bilbo's trust like that?

Gandalf walked over to Thorin and Bilbo, kneeling down before the two of them as he poked through Bilbo's body gently, worried about the lack or respond he got. "How long has he been like this?" He asked and Kili stepped forwards. "About a week, it got really bad today though."

Thorin finally looked up to Gandalf, his frown deeper than ever, "We haven't come across any cities in days; he couldn't have contracted something from man," looking back down to Bilbo, Thorin set the flask down to bring a shaking hand up to the hobbit's pale lips, thumbing them to try and feel for some sign of breathing. "They haven't said anything to me until now about this."

"He was courting someone." Kili finally blurted out, turning to look at Fili pleadingly, this may be their last change ot find out what was wrong with Bilbo. Gandalf's eyebrows rose up and he examined Bilbo again." So he found his mate among dwarves...of course." Bilbo had indeed always been extraordinary.  
He straightened up again. "Whoever his mate was, has rejected the hobbit. This is no original sickness. Where dwarves and elves merely get sick and feel hollow for the rest of their lives if they are rejected, hobbits are more fragile creatures. Once rejected they don't have a reason to be among us anymore and most of them will die in grief."

Devastation crushed Thorin as painfully as it had during the loss of Erebor. He clutched to the hobbit's frail and fading body, looking up at the crew surrounding them. "Which of you was it?" he spat, sucking in an angry breath, "Which of you would throw away his life? His love? Who?" he shook as he held to Bilbo, pain coming more fierce upon realizing that Bilbo had not only met another who was his soulmate, but that they would turn him away.

Kili walked over to Bilbo's bag, searching through it and with gentle fingers pulled out the violet, now a little debauched looking flower. "Bilbo talked about this flower...how hobbits seem to use it to courting...we saw him that same night clutching the said flower against his chest and that's when it began." He said silently, looking over at Bilbo pained.

Horrified, Thorin couldn't help but stare at the flower. He couldn't breathe, guilt and disbelief making it all the more painful to see the crushed and wilted flower that looked so much like the one Thorin had batted off his pillow days before. "No," he breathed, shaking his head, "No--not that one, it can't be..." Thorin snapped his eyes down to Bilbo, one hand rising to cup the hobbit's pale face. "You fool," he hissed, "You said nothing to me--how was I supposed to know the meaning of it?"

Gandalf seemed a little surprised as well, making a thoughtful noise. "Well that figured that one out, and why Bilbo is in that condition. After rejection every hateful word, every act of lowness and disbelief hurts more than anything physical could, making him grow weaker day by day."

Kili shared a look with his brother, clutching the flower in his hands tightly, eyes wide. "That's why he refused to get help from Thorin. He had got nothing but lowering words all week. He thought..." He couldn't continue on, and Fili couldn't help it--all this talk of pain and suffering made him reach out and twin his fingers into Kili's, holding his hand tightly as Thorin shut his eyes and shook his head. Kili held onto Fili's hand tightly, burying his face against his shoulder letting out a tiny sob.

"None of them were true," Thorin pleaded, "Nothing different than I say to the others--you can't mean I've been the one killing him this entire time, can you?" He wished desperately to hear otherwise, but the more time passed, the bleaker it all seemed.

Gandalf looked nearly pitying. "I'm sorry, Thorin, but it's true. After rejection, everything hurts. With every word and action you hit him lower under the ground until he could not continue anymore. I'm surprised he has held on this far."

Fili wrapped his arms around Kili, clutching tightly to him as Thorin let out an anguished sound. "There was no rejection!" he cried, "I didn't know!"

Kili squeezed his eyes shut, it hurt to hear the desperation in their uncle's voice, something they hadn't heard in a long time. Fili stroked a hand down his brother's back, lips pressed into Kili's temple in a soothing manner.

"You brushed the flower away, even if you didn't know what it symbolized. But Bilbo did, and to carelessly brush something like that away is taken as rejection, Thorin. Didn't you wonder how on earth you suddenly had one of the most beautiful flowers on your bed roll, placed neatly so you couldn't miss it?" Gandalf asked lifting an eyebrow.

Thorin clutched Bilbo to his chest, "At night? Even firelight is not enough to truly see such things! I thought my other to be dead years ago, how could I--" Thorin choked off, his voice trembling as he looked down at Bilbo, holding him as if the hobbit were made of glass. "Is there nothing I can do to fix this?"

"That's why you didn't feel what Bilbo did. The other heartbeat, the mixed emotions. Bilbo felt that, and wanted to court you." Gandalf spoke softly, eyeing the others for a small while before he sighed lowering his hand on Bilbo's forehead, muttering few words in other language for a moment and retrieved his hand back when Bilbo pulled in a ragged breath of air, cutting the silence with a coughing fit. "It won't be an easy recovery. Right now, Thorin Oakenshield, you are the one keeping him alive."

Thorin tore his eyes from Bilbo to stare at Gandalf, "And how will I keep him that way?" He asked, placing a palm against Bilbo's heaving chest as the hobbit continued to cough. 

Fili pulled Kili's head from his shoulder, gesturing to where Bilbo had started to move again; to show some signs of life. This must mean things were going to be okay, right? Kili turned his head towards the noises, his own body falling relaxed immediately at the sight of Bilbo awake and breathing better.

"Show him compassion. Accept the bond if you so wish and that will make a big change already. Any harsh words or actions will send him back to the worst again." Gandalf warned eyeing the hobbit who looked confused, eyes unfocused.

"Of course I accept!" Thorin cried, "I would have from the start if I had known!" Looking down to Bilbo, Thorin cupped at his cheek and frowned, "You foolish hobbit; why couldn't you have told me? Did you honestly think I would have rejected the bond?" Thorin brushed Bilbo's bangs from his forehead, wishing that disoriented look would leave Bilbo's face.

Bilbo stared up at Thorin, trying to remember the last thing that had happened but was shaken away from those thought when he felt the king's hand touch his face in a gentle manner. "Thorin...?" He asked confused, his voice breaking.

"Thank Aule," Thorin gasped, holding Bilbo as tightly as he dared and pressing their foreheads together. "You stubborn hobbit," His fingers and arms shook as he continued to hold onto Bilbo--afraid that even letting go might cause him to slip away like he had so suddenly before.  
Bilbo felt his cheeks flush despite having no strength in his body, his heart skipping a beat at being so close to Thorin. "What is....What..?" He asked still as confused, eyes skimming over the dwarves and wizard before looking back up at Thorin.

"Why couldn't you have told me?" Thorin breathed, "You thought this whole time that I had rejected you when I had no idea what we were."  
Bilbo's eyes widened slightly, and he blinked unsure. "I...thought you knew...I felt it so...I thought...you felt it too.." He trailed off silently, closing his eyes again.  
"You felt it because you acknowledged it," Thorin rasped, hand shaking as he brushed Bilbo's sweaty bangs from his forehead, "I couldn't because you never said anything--I didn't think my intended was even still alive."

"You must have waited longer than I have...for someone to come, to be that one." Bilbo coughed out, relaxing in Thorin's arms blinking up at him. "I'm not sure what happened...did I pass out..?" He asked unsure, his head pounding.  
"I'm much older than you, friend," Thorin said weakly, shaking his head, "You... we almost lost you because of my ignorance... _I_ almost lost you."  
Bilbo's eyes widened in shock, he had had no idea he was that close to leaving already. The thought scared him, his small body trembling a little. "Then...how am I...here?"

"Because," Thorin cupped Bilbo's cheek, leaning in and pressing a kiss between his brows. He lingered for a moment, and then pulled back just enough to say, "Because now that I know, I can accept the bond."  
Bilbo's eyes fluttered close at the kiss, his breath catching in his throat and heart kick starting in his chest. "You want it?" He asked dazed, fingers curling on the fur on Thorin's clothes.

"Yes, you foolish halfling," Thorin muttered, tilting his head down so that his nose brushed against Bilbo's, "And I'd have accepted sooner if I had only been aware."  
Bilbo's eyes searched Thorin's own, and something he saw there made him smile and breathe out slowly. "Then...do you accept the bond, and to be my one till death do us apart?" He asked in a whisper, nuzzling their noses together gently, weakly.

"Always," Thorin whispered back, thumb stroking over the curve of Bilbo's cheek reverently as he shifted just enough to kiss him softly and slowly--afraid the slightest force might break his already fragile halfling.

In that simple kiss everything felt like they fell in right places, it was like getting air in lungs after being underwater, to get the colors back after losing them and Bilbo breathed in sharply, tilting his head and pressing back in the kiss he had been waiting for so long.

He was distantly aware of Fili picking Kili up and spinning his brother around laughing before kissing him softly as well, and the hobbit had to smile in the kiss he was receiving.

At the moment, he was the happiest hobbit to be alive, and he knew the journey just took an interesting turn.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, hopefully you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! Leave a comment and kudos, takes a second, means a lot ~


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